160 Thought-Provoking Questions for Couples to Strengthen Their Relationship

Think you truly understand your partner? You might be aware of their favorite dish or ideal getaway, but there are always deeper subjects to delve into with them.

According to Amy Morin, LCSW, psychotherapist and author of 13 Things Mentally Strong Couples Don’t Do, regardless of how long you’ve been together, there’s always more to learn about your significant other. “People evolve and transform — the individual you fell for will not be the exact same as the person they are now,” she states.

Posing meaningful questions fosters a deeper connection with your partner and enhances your relationship overall.

“Curiosity and engagement enhance attraction,” notes Sara Sloan, LMFT, owner of Austin Concierge Therapy. In fact, Sloan frequently introduces something known as the 36 Questions to Fall in Love — a collection of questions designed to encourage connection and openness — as a starting exercise for her clients.

“Often, this exercise reveals details about each other that long-term couples were unaware of,” she explains. “The novelty of the new insights highlights that we never fully know our partners, which creates opportunities for both individuals in the couple to grow and adapt together.”

Similarly, Morin emphasizes that maintaining a sense of curiosity about your partner helps sustain a connection that continues to strengthen. In fact, research indicates that open communication is a crucial factor for long-term relationship success and happiness. “Meaningful dialogue fosters intimacy and transparency, leading to improved conflict resolution,” Morin adds.

With insights from experts, we have created a collection of 160 thought-provoking questions for couples to ask one another. Try some of these deeper questions during date night, intimate conversations, or whenever you find some alone time together.

1. What’s something you’ve always wanted to say to me, but haven’t?
2. What small thing consistently brings a smile to your face?
3. If money and time weren’t an issue, how would you envision us spending the next year together?
4. What was your favorite spot in your childhood home?
5. Is there a fear you’ve never shared with anyone?
6. Can you recall a moment when you felt supported by me?
7. What are the little gestures that make you feel truly loved?
8. What’s something about me you’ve grown to see differently over time?
9. Where do you feel the most at ease in the world?
10. What does your ideal stroll in our neighborhood look like?
11. How can I best show my love for you in this phase of life?
12. What activity makes you feel most alive?
13. What dream have you turned into reality?
14. What refreshes you after a tiring day?
15. What’s a small thing that really brightens your day?
16. If you could be renowned for anything, what would it be?
17. Who is someone you’d like to connect with more? Why?
18. What’s something you consider overrated?
19. Which books have influenced you as an adult?
20. What nicknames have you had previously? Who gave you those names and why did they stick?
21. Is there an album from your youth that you never grow tired of?
22. What are the top three locations in the U.S. you’d love to visit?
23. What’s the kindest thing you’ve done for someone? What’s the nicest deed anyone has done for you?
24. What’s your favorite place in your hometown?
25. Did you ever have a cherished pet? Why did they mean so much to you?
26. What family tradition do you remember fondly from your childhood?
27. What’s a team sport you would enjoy being a part of?
28. Who are you closest to in your family? What brings you close?
29. What’s a recent embarrassing moment you experienced?
30. What’s a book that made a significant impact on you?
31. What influence does faith have in your life?
32. If you could address one aspect of life in therapy, what would it be?
33. If you visited a ski resort, would you choose to spend the day skiing or relaxing by a cabin fire? Why?
34. If you vacationed in a warm climate, would you prefer to lounge on the beach or participate in excursions? Why?
35. If you could possess any superpower, what would you choose?
36. Which season do you enjoy the most regarding weather?
37. What sights, sounds, or aromas remind you of your childhood instantly?
38. What do you believe is our generation’s biggest challenge compared to others?
39. What karaoke song would you select if you had to perform? Why?
40. Which cartoon character do you see as a reflection of yourself?
41. Is there something about our relationship that’s difficult for you to discuss? Why? How can I facilitate that conversation?
42. What are you currently working on that you could use support with? How can I assist you?
43. What do you appreciate most about being in a relationship?
44. If you could give advice to your younger self, what would it be?
45. Which activities make you feel the most authentically you?
46. What stressors are currently occupying your mind the most?
47. What cause would you like to contribute your time or resources to?
48. If you could launch a business, what services or products would you offer?
49. How did the pandemic influence your life?
50. If fear weren’t an obstacle, what would you pursue?
51. What do you believe is crucial for effective communication in a relationship?
52. Is there a leisure activity you wish I enjoyed more?
53. What lessons do you wish to learn?
54. What aspect of me do you hope I never lose?
55. If you could master any dish in cooking, what would it be?
56. What does your ideal date look like?
57. What after-school activity do you wish you had either participated in or continued?
58. If you had a day completely free of restrictions, how would you spend it?
59. What’s the first thought that comes to your mind when you consider the state of our relationship right now? Why?
60. What movie or show do you feel best captures our love story?
61. How do you envision your life three years from now?
62. What excites you most about life at the moment?
63. What are your biggest concerns for the future?
64. Who are your closest friends or allies at present? How can you maximize those relationships?
65. How have you evolved over the past year?
66. What are some of your life aspirations now?
67. What experiences do you wish to have before you pass away?
68. When were you last moved to tears, and what prompted it?
69. Who are the most significant figures in your life and why?
70. If you could live anyone else’s life, whose would it be and why?
71. What were the highlights and low points of your teenage years?
72. If you could wake up tomorrow with three new skills, which would you choose and why?
73. In what ways are we alike and different?
74. What are your top three personal values, and why are they important to you?
75. When do you feel most connected to me?
76. What’s a misconception about you that you sometimes believe? What truth can you choose instead?
77. How can you tell when I’m upset? What’s that experience like for you?
78. What’s your greatest regret?
79. How do you generally approach conflict? What influences your strategy?
80. Which household chore do you dislike the most?
81. If you could board a plane tomorrow, where would you go?
82. If you won $500,000, what would you do with it?
83. What was one of your cherished childhood books?
84. What’s something you take pride in?
85. How can I support you this week?
86. What pleases you most in our intimate life?
87. Is there anything new you want to explore in our intimate life? If yes, what?
88. When do you feel your most attractive self?
89. What do you consider a lost art in today’s world?
90. If you could change one aspect of our relationship, what would it be?
91. If you wish to have children, how do you envision your parenting style?
92. In your view, what does it mean to be a good partner?
93. How did your parent’s experiences shape your views on becoming or being a parent? What would you like to carry on or change?
94. What do you wish to feel more appreciated for?
95. What’s the most challenging aspect of our relationship right now?
96. Who do you look up to? Why?
97. What would your ideal day look like? Who would you invite and what activities would you do?
98. What’s your happy place?
99. What’s something you haven’t had the time to do recently that you would love to pursue soon?
100. If you could alter one thing about our living situation, what would it be?
101. What are your top three favorite movies, musicians, or TV shows?
102. What aspects of relationships drain you?
103. What was the most enjoyable school trip or activity of your life? What made it special?
104. Which teacher had the most significant impact on you? Why?
105. When you’re feeling low, who or what do you turn to for comfort?
106. Which board game would you love to play together?
107. If you could host a dinner party with five influential individuals, who would they be? Feel free to include historical figures.
108. What element of nature captivates you the most?
109. What role does social media play in your everyday life?
110. How would you choose to spend a day without technology?
111. What do you enjoy shopping for? Which stores do you love?
112. What do you find hardest to shop for?
113. What are the top three gifts you’ve received?
114. In what area would you like to be less self-critical? How can I support you in that?
115. What challenge did you overcome that boosted your self-confidence?
116. What event made you laugh until you cried?
117. In what aspects of your life would a coach or mentor benefit you?
118. When was the last time you boasted about me? To whom and why?
119. What injustice affects you the most? Why? What actions could you take in response?
120. Is there something you consider irreplaceable? What makes it so significant to you?
121. What’s the best advice you ever received?
122. What does being a true friend mean to you?
123. Considering the five love languages (physical touch, acts of service, words of affirmation, quality time, and receiving gifts), which was predominant in your upbringing? Which one resonates with you now? Can you rank them?
124. What contributes to your feeling emotionally or physically safe?
125. How would you like to be honored at your eulogy? How can you strive to embody those qualities in your daily life?
126. What question are you eager to be asked?
127. Which villain do you empathize with the most?
128. What’s a look you’ve always wanted to try? What has held you back from going for it?
129. Who was your dearest childhood friend? How would they describe you back then?
130. What tastes, scents, or sounds remind you of home?
131. What fears do you have? What’s a small step you could take toward addressing that fear?
132. Where and with whom do you feel you truly belong?
133. What do people frequently misunderstand about you? How would you clarify that misconception?
134. When do you think I look my most appealing?
135. What is a kind gesture I’ve performed that has lingered in your memory? Why do you think it meant so much?
136. What is something we used to do together that you wish we would do more? Or is there something new you’d love for us to try together?
137. What would your perfect day at work look like? What tasks or interactions would make it special?
138. What secret signals can we establish to help each other navigate stressful social situations?
139. Who were your heroes in childhood?
140. Who is someone you’d like to support or mentor? How can we achieve that together?
141. What expensive item do you believe is worth every penny?
142. Is there a particular thing you need to forgive yourself for? What has made forgiveness challenging?
143. What harmful belief do you hold that prevents you from living a happier life? How can you counter that belief with truth?
144. What affirmation do you find hard to accept? What could assist you on your journey to self-love?
145. If you could ask the divine one question, what would it be?
146. In what ways do you feel I enhance your self-confidence?
147. What is your favorite holiday? Are there any traditions that make that time special?
148. Which personality trait or skill of mine do you wish you possessed?
149. What are some strategies to create more balance in your life?
150. When was the last time you faced a fear and overcame it?
151. What global issue do you wish to address? Why does that specific issue resonate with you?
152. When did you experience an unexpected coincidence, serendipity, or “God moment”?
153. What would you describe as magical in your life?
154. What popular food or drink do you absolutely dislike or could skip? (Pumpkin Spice lattes aren’t for everyone!)
155. Who was your first celebrity crush as a child?
156. If you were stranded on an island for 72 hours and could watch a single movie, which one would it be?
157. What do you miss the most from your childhood?
158. If your younger self could see you now, would they be pleased with your life’s trajectory?
159. What book, song, movie, or show never fails to make you cry?
160. If you could pass down one lesson to your future child, what would it be?