Mormon Wives’ Jessi Alleges Jordan Blackmailed Her: New Affair Insights Emerge
The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives star Jessi Ngatikaura made some shocking revelations about her husband Jordan Ngatikaura, including details on how he blackmailed her following her affair, the truths they concealed on the show, and more.
In an episode of “The Viall Files” podcast aired on Wednesday, November 19, Jessi, age 33, candidly discussed her relationship with Jordan, highlighting that she encountered similar emotional abuse issues during her first marriage.
“My instinct is shaped by past experiences of being yelled at. I recall the tough times in my first marriage,” Jessi shared, reflecting on her ex-husband, Zach. “He was significantly more emotionally abusive—more than Jordan, to be frank.”
She added, “Jordan’s emotional abuse manifests differently, but I had already faced worse. At least it wasn’t as severe as my previous marriage. However, over time, things escalated to a similar level.”
Season 3, which premiered on Thursday, November 13, featured Jessi opening up about a two-week emotional affair with Vanderpump Villa‘s Marciano Brunette. In the show, she also discussed the emotional abuse she faced from Jordan and the path they took toward reconciliation.
However, her podcast appearance unveiled a different narrative, as she delved into what remained unsaid, her honesty on screen, and the depth of issues within her marriage to Jordan. Read on for her most significant insights:
A Past Marriage Before Jordan
“We had both been married prior. Jordan was in a long-term relationship after his first marriage; he had an on-and-off girlfriend for four years. I was married for five years,” Jessi recounted. “As I was leaving my marriage, Jordan was also ending things with his girlfriend of four years after being divorced since he was just 18.”
Jessi met Jordan at a social gathering through mutual friends.
“My husband even accompanied me to some of these group dinners. At one dinner, I arrived alone, and Jordan asked, ‘Where’s your husband?’ I replied, ‘We’ve separated; we’re getting divorced.’ He responded, ‘I just broke up with my girlfriend last week.’ We ended up talking for hours about our breakups and bonded over that. A week or two later, he asked me out, and I said yes,” she added.
“I was navigating my divorce while dating Jordan, which isn’t advisable. I definitely rushed into it. At the time, I think I was simply seeking a distraction and a way to heal from my divorce.”
Similarities to Her 1st Marriage
Jessi experienced emotional turmoil in both her first marriage and her relationship with Jordan.
“I didn’t heal from my first emotionally abusive marriage and then jumped into a second one that mirrored the same patterns,” she confessed. “That’s a huge part of why I’m in this position — I didn’t heal, which allowed the same issues to manifest a second time.”
However, she clarified that Jordan and Zach were vastly different individuals.
“[My first husband] was a good Mormon boy, so I thought I was making a safe choice. He came from a good family involved in the church; he was a returned missionary and seemed great initially. But things went downhill when he got mixed up in drugs and stopped working, leading to anger issues,” she recounted. “I exited that marriage feeling broken and carried many wounds into my current marriage, and now I’m confronting the aftermath of both.”
Jessi also elaborated on the religious complexities stemming from her past marriage. She expressed that although she’s no longer practicing Mormonism, she remains “sealed” to her ex-husband in the church, an issue they refuse to allow her to alter.
While her ex has since remarried and is sealed to his new wife, Jessi’s attempts have been thwarted. She emphasized the influence of “religious trauma” on some of her life challenges.
What Caused Issues With Jordan
“From my perspective, my growing success might have made Jordan feel threatened because he wasn’t the primary provider,” she remarked. “Men often grapple with that, especially in Mormon culture. Although he isn’t Mormon, the upbringing in that community influences his mindset.”
Jessi noted that being the primary breadwinner was “threatening” to her husband, explaining, “Jordan eventually left his job and felt purposeless. I believe that heavily contributed to the way he treated me.” (Jessi further mentioned in the podcast that she became “a multimillionaire within a few years,” thanks to her hair care brand JZ Styles.)
Warning Signs
Reflecting on the early days of her marriage, Jessi recognized that she failed to ask “the right questions” to Jordan.
“I rushed in impulsively and used our relationship as a Band-Aid. I wish I had taken more time,” she lamented. “I left my husband in September, and Jordan and I were married by March. It was way too fast. I am very impulsive.”
Jessi indicated that “everyone” in her life observed how Jordan treated her in season 3, remarking, “The hardest aspect for me right now is that not a single person I know cares for Jordan. They’ve all witnessed how he has treated me and keep him at a distance. That’s a significant obstacle I need to overcome.”
Changing Her Name
Jessi clarified that her decision to publicly use the last name Draper instead of Ngatikaura was not tied to the state of her marriage. She cited issues with pronunciation and branding as key factors in this name change.
The Real Timeline of Events
Despite how it was portrayed on the series, Jessi wasn’t actually separated from Jordan when he discovered her affair with Marciano.
“The reason I left was that we had been grappling with the affair for about six months privately. During that time, everything escalated. He was blackmailing me, threatening to expose my messages to Marciano publicly,” she alleged, adding that this was mentioned in the series but wasn’t included in the final edit. “Anytime I did something he disagreed with, he had evidence ready to post on TikTok.”
Jessi recalled, “It was incredibly toxic. I remember the day I left—I was chasing him around the house as he recorded me, and we were both yelling at each other. It was a chaotic situation.”
She confirmed that her affair with Marciano began while she was still living with Jordan.
“When Jordan and I were experiencing this turmoil together, he told me, ‘If anyone finds out, we should say we were separated to downplay the situation.’ I remembered him saying that I should handle it that way if it came to light,” she recalled. “Eventually, he agreed, saying, ‘If this is going to get out, we have to share the truth.’”
The couple preferred not to perpetuate a lie and risk being caught in it.
The Worst Aspects of Their Marriage
“A significant part of our dynamic involved Jordan controlling my attire, actions, and work hours. Even something as minor as leaving the fridge door open would lead to yelling—I’m still left with PTSD from those moments,” she recollected. “It was a constant state of tension. I always felt like I was walking on eggshells around Jordan, unable to do anything correctly.”
Jessi charged that Jordan “mom-shamed” her, hurled derogatory names at her, and would “physically block” her from leaving during arguments; eventually, the children witnessed this behavior. (Jordan is expected to share his perspective on the situation in the upcoming episode of “The Viall Files” podcast on Wednesday, November 27.)
According to Jessi, the pivotal moment came when Jordan began informing their kids that they were facing divorce.
“That’s when I realized just how unhealthy this was; we couldn’t let our kids witness this. We can’t use them as pawns,” she elaborated. “The worst part of our separation was seeing the negative impact on our children and realizing the harm this was causing them.”
The couple managed to reach a better understanding, but significant issues arose due to the affair.
“At that time, Jordan was far more concerned about his image than the actual situation; he continually used the term emasculating,” she reflected. “His primary concern was how it would look to others, feeling less of a man for being cheated on; it wasn’t even about the act itself.”
