Pam Stepnick Reflects on Logan Paul’s ‘Cancellation’ Following Suicide Victim Video

Years later, Pam Stepnick reflects on her son Logan Paul’s since-deleted video that showcased the body of an alleged suicide victim in Japan.

In F*** the Pauls: Written by Their Mother, released on Tuesday, January 27, Pam recounted the chaos that ensued when the YouTube video was published on December 31, 2017.

Initially, Pam admitted she was “probably a little desensitized” because she didn’t believe the video could be “that bad.”

“I looked at my internet browser on my phone. Logan’s face was all over mainstream media,” she recalled. “I was in shock. How did this happen? Amid the whirlwind of daily posts, videos, events, paparazzi, fans, deals, money, and glitz, my son lost his moral compass in the Aokigahara forest in Japan. Overnight, Logan transformed from one of the most popular figures on the internet to one of the most reviled individuals in the world. He was cancelled. Colossally cancelled.”

Pam explained that she watched the video, where Logan and his crew walked through Japan’s “suicide forest” near Mount Fuji. A few yards into the forest, they stumbled upon a man who had allegedly taken his own life.

“‘Stop filming,’ I said aloud while watching. ‘OK — we get it. This is too much,’” she remembered thinking. “The team kept filming. It still makes me nauseous to discuss it. My mind was racing. Why didn’t he stop filming? Why didn’t the others? Why was it edited together? Why was it even posted?”

Before this moment, Pam felt as though she and her family — including son Jake Paul — were “building a plane as we were flying it.” Now, it felt like “our engine caught on fire, and we had to make an emergency landing.”

Pam noted that “millions of people” watched the video within hours of its release, with Logan trending on Twitter (now X) as users expressed their outrage at his actions.

“For a brief moment, my son was the most hated man in the world. It’s difficult to articulate how that feels as his mother,” she wrote. “Is it defensiveness mixed with horror? Panic? It’s mostly deeply painful. You feel it within your own body.”

Pam shared that “keyboard warriors” and public figures voiced their “disgust for Logan,” with comments like, “Kill yourself… Go die… Hope you kill yourself.” In her view, “nothing” they had ever faced as a family prepared them for this crisis. She recalled receiving messages from extended family and relatives she hadn’t heard from in years.

Despite Logan deleting the video and issuing an apology, Pam noted that the “damage was done.”

“The video spread like wildfire. People were outraged,” she remembered. “YouTube barred Logan’s channel from Google Preferred and YouTube Premium, impacting his revenue. They also delayed the YouTube movie Logan had in production.”

Pam said that Jake “felt the ripple effects,” with “several major brands” backing out of deals with him due to Logan’s actions.

“They used to play on teeter-totters as kids. Remember, one kid goes up while the other goes down? That has been true for their careers as well. They are forever linked,” she noted regarding her sons.

Hours after the video was released, Pam expressed her fear that Logan would be detained in Japan or “attacked by angry people.” She began to pray, and when Logan returned home, he “went into hibernation.”

“I’m there for the highs, the mediums, the mundane, the fun, the exciting. I was present through the public shaming, the moral outrage, the canceling, and the opportunity to help my son learn from this and do better,” she wrote. “I knew Logan thought he was filming something real that could help those struggling. Was it the wrong approach? Absolutely. Logan wasn’t the right person to convey that kind of message. He wasn’t equipped to tackle something as serious as suicide.”

Pam noted that she and her husband, David Stepnick, recognized the event for what it truly was: a grave misstep, not a malicious act.

David “encouraged” Pam to visit Logan “in person and help him understand what went wrong.” She explained that she “didn’t yell at him” or “call him an idiot,” but instead “[encouraged] him to take steps to rectify the situation.”

“I’ve always believed that actions speak louder than words. Logan’s apology wouldn’t change anything. I prayed for God to turn this into something positive,” she recalled. “The first step was education. Logan felt humbled. He was ready to learn what he could have done differently. He wanted to do anything to understand how things went so wrong.”

Pam mentioned that Logan met with Kevin Hines, who survived a suicide attempt by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge in 2000. (Hines now advocates for suicide prevention.)

“Logan understands how traumatic his video could be for someone battling mental health issues. His vision is to share more uplifting stories of individuals who chose life over death,” she wrote. “Kevin strongly encourages more narratives about people overcoming their struggles and learning to cope. While those stories may draw less attention, they can genuinely impact someone considering taking their own life.”

When Logan “owned up to his actions” on Good Morning America later that year, Pam shared that she felt “heartbroken” for her son and “a little numb seeing his remorseful face.”

In another section of the memoir, Pam noted that the “Japan incident changed the course of Logan’s life.”

“Would he become perfect? Not at all,” she wrote. “But would he continue to be more careful, thoughtful, and stronger? Yes.”

F*** the Pauls: Written by Their Mother is now available.

If you or someone you know is struggling or in crisis, help is available. Call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.