Embracing My Identity: How Makeup Empowers My Confidence as a Queer Black Man in the South

Growing up as a Black queer man in the South had its challenges, yet I was fortunate to have a mother who embraced me without conditions. Her beauty regimen was straightforward yet striking: an Imari deep violet blush and a burgundy lipstick that she reserved for Sunday services. In those moments, she radiated a celestial beauty, teaching me that makeup is less about volume and more about finding what makes you feel extraordinary.

Although her unwavering support laid my foundation, it was a tough breakup during my college years that unveiled the real power of self-expression through makeup. In my moment of despair, I entered a MAC store, took a seat at the makeup counter, and nearly in tears, I asked to be transformed into someone beautiful.

In those times, the MAC counter was far more than a makeup store – it was a haven for self-discovery. The MAC artists were revered for their ability to unleash inner confidence through makeup, revitalizing not just appearances but also self-esteem.

The makeup artist who assisted me that day didn’t merely apply makeup; she helped me perceive myself with fresh eyes. Like countless others, I felt enchanted by the magic that these MAC artists exuded. As she meticulously explained every step and choice, I realized that beauty could be seen as a form of self-care instead of merely a façade. What began as a desperate need to feel uplifted transformed into a meaningful journey of self-acceptance and love.

Those initial experiences at the MAC counter were pivotal; it became the place to seek authenticity, to undergo transformations that extended beyond makeup. My mother’s minimalist beauty ethos taught me about elegance, while the MAC counter opened my eyes to the realms of strength and potential. Both teachings merged to shape my unique identity during my explorations with products and techniques, eventually paving my way to a career in the beauty industry and leading to my role as a beauty journalist.

Being a Black person in the South sometimes brought difficulties in finding suitable shades, yet it also led me to find innovative ways to honor my skin tone rather than conforming to outside expectations. The struggle of discovering products that suited me became an avenue for developing my distinctive style, one that paid tribute to my complexion and my identity as a queer individual.

On certain days, donning a daring lip color acts as armor against the world’s less sympathetic views towards Black queer individuals. Other days, a gentle touch of Patrick Ta blusher feels like a soft tribute to my natural radiance. Each makeup look becomes a channel for sharing my narrative on my terms. What started as an initiative to mend a broken heart blossomed into a beautiful journey of self-discovery and empowerment.

As a visible Black queer person embracing makeup, I often feel like I’m making a bold statement. With every look I express my love for myself, hoping to inspire other young people to feel comfortable in their own skin. Representation is essential, and I have come to realize that being unapologetically yourself can be the most impactful statement of all. When younger individuals in my community express that witnessing my pride in my identity empowers them, it echoes the strength I derived from my mother’s effortless elegance.

Even now, every time I apply my makeup, I feel rejuvenated—there’s only me in that moment. I become the main character in my narrative, the highlight of my own story, and I can trace this revitalizing sentiment back to that transformative moment at the beauty counter. That day was not just about makeup; it was an introduction to self-love and authenticity. Each application of blush and each stroke of mascara reflect the path I have traversed—from seeking approval to embracing my distinct beauty. In my reflection, I don’t just see my features; I witness years of growth, self-exploration, and the beautiful defiance of embracing my true self.

Stixx Mathews is a freelance beauty writer based in New York City with over 11 years of experience, passionately sharing narratives that merge beauty with pop culture. He delivers expert insights on the latest trends and in-demand products, focusing specifically on lipstick and fragrance.