Donna Farizan: How Embracing a ‘Yes is More’ Mindset Transformed Her Social Life

Weddings have always held a special place in my heart. Being someone who thrives in social settings, I believe every moment of life deserves to be celebrated. I never quite grasped why friends would groan about their packed calendars filled with weddings—how could anyone frown at the chance to celebrate love? However, as I’ve matured, I’ve observed that wedding festivities, bachelorette parties included, can frustratingly become the sole opportunities for socializing in your 30s.

With many of my close friends tying the knot and relocating from New York City, my social dynamics shifted in ways I hadn’t anticipated. Some college pals moved to the West Coast, and my high school friends gradually followed suit. During this transition, I sensed my inner joy begin to dim.

To counteract my shrinking circle, I turned my focus to dating, only to realize that finding “Mr. Right” was far more challenging for me than it seemed to be for my friends. That’s when I opted for a change in perspective—it wasn’t just about seeking new friendships; I needed to embrace every invitation with a resounding “yes.” Emphasizing openness and enthusiasm became my priority, hoping that new bonds would blossom.

Then came the pivotal party: a holiday gathering in 2023 where I only knew a handful of people. I arrived alone, nerves bubbling beneath my excitement at the chance to meet someone special. Spoiler alert: that didn’t happen. Instead, I connected with two vibrant new friends who radiated positivity and warmth. Our conversation flowed effortlessly, and these women seemed both delightful and fulfilled. They quickly added me to a thriving group chat that continues today, and we started spending more time together.

A few months later, while dining at a trendy city restaurant, summer travel plans came up. My new friends mentioned a group trip to France and invited me along. It was the perfect opportunity; I just needed to book a flight to St. Tropez. Mid-bite of my burger, it hit me that I’d never have fewer obligations than at that moment. So why not seize the chance for an impromptu adventure with new friends?

I booked the flight and spent a week dancing in the south of France, a destination I had recently added to my travel bucket list. It had been ages since I traveled with friends without the occasion of celebrating something—a bachelorette, a wedding, or the like. For once, it felt exhilarating to simply enjoy life for its own sake.

This was just the start of a beautiful friendship blossoming from a “yes” mindset I adopted for every appealing invitation. I made it my mission to radiate welcoming energy, and though it felt vulnerable at times, forging new connections helped me rediscover myself.

I prioritize having fun, so I extended this “yes more” philosophy to new hobbies like acting and improv. I also revisited old passions while making new friends. Joining a social club for squash was a highlight, and I’ve found every chance to connect and reconnect with friends and neighbors. I explored my own city like a tourist and even discovered a walking group in New York, City Girls Who Walk, which encourages stepping outside your comfort zone with strangers.

Once I adapted to the rhythm of putting myself out there and actively seeking new connections, I began to see the unknown as a positive. Many of us, regardless of age or relationship status, yearn for connection—whether brief or lasting.

People often speak of manifesting their desired lives. For me, it’s about embracing opportunities and connections that resonate with my energy. Ultimately, reconnecting with new people and creating cherished memories has helped me feel like myself again. I’m living life on my own terms and my heart is overflowing with joy.