Sandy Hook Father Robbie Parker Pens ‘A Father’s Fight’
He shares that he felt the solidarity of other families present, viewing them as a collective unit.
In his memoir, he refers to this group of parents as The Families, emphasizing the capitalization, but admits, “For a long while, I kept the other parents at a distance.”
Despite their “immediate connection” following the tragic event, Parker expresses that he struggled with how to engage or bond with them.
During the trial, however, he found a meaningful connection with The Families.
“Spending extensive time together, enjoying long lunches, sharing laughter, and swapping both joyful and sorrowful stories while feeling secure—that was one of the most invaluable gifts I received from that entire ordeal,” he reflects.
He began writing as a way to address his “resistance to grief,” likening the journey to a roller coaster.
“There are all these ups and downs and twists and turns, yet it often feels like I’m back where I began, which is the nature of a roller coaster,” he explains.
He has gained a deeper insight into the concept of “peace.”
“For me, peace isn’t about feeling good all the time,” he says. “It’s the realization that I can face setbacks, endure tough times, appreciate beauty, and hold both the beautiful and the difficult simultaneously… that’s where I find true peace.”
December 14
Each December 14 holds a different significance for Parker.
Shortly after Emilie’s passing, he recalls the family asking, “What would Emilie enjoy?” For instance, on her first birthday after the tragedy, they celebrated by visiting Harry Potter World at Universal Orlando, as they had been reading the “Harry Potter” series together.
“That was an easy choice,” Parker reflects. “It’s more challenging now because I’m uncertain about what she would have loved, what interests she might have had, or what challenges she would have faced.”
The family remains united, he notes. Emilie’s younger sisters, Madeline and Samantha, possess great artistic talent and frequently collaborate on projects or crafts.
This year, he shares, “I plan to head to the beach and take a stroll.” “I’m aiming for simplicity.”
Throughout the process of publishing his memoir, Parker expresses how rewarding it’s been to frequently discuss Emilie.
One story he enjoys recounting is about Emilie: after an intense snowstorm, he went out to clear the driveway. It took him hours, and he missed dinner and the nightly bedtime routine with the kids.
Upon returning to the house, he discovered a plate filled with food and his favorite drink prepared by Emilie.
“I found out later that she had woken up, realizing, ‘Oh, Dad hasn’t had any dinner.’ While everyone else was asleep, she got up and made me this plate,” he recalls. “The next morning, she didn’t even mention it.”
“What brings me to tears when I speak about this is Emilie’s extraordinary capacity to deeply feel emotions and to express that love. It’s something I’ve always found challenging,” he adds.
“That’s what I miss most about her—I long to be around someone who can show me how to navigate those emotions.”