The Evolving Relationship Between Lily Collins and Her Dad, Phil Collins: A Journey of Ups and Downs

Lily Collins comes from a lineage of fame. As the daughter of Genesis drummer Phil Collins and his former spouse Jill Tavelman, Lily landed her debut acting role at just two years old on BBC’s Growing Pains. Today, she is celebrated as the leading star of the popular Netflix series Emily in Paris.

Having a high-profile father has presented both public and private challenges. Her parents separated when she was five, leading her to reside with her mother full-time. With Phil being a global star, he was frequently absent during Lily’s upbringing. However, they have reconciled any past grievances, with Lily stating in an interview with The Guardian in 2012 that the rumors surrounding their relationship are untrue.

“I know the truth and I know how it was for me, and I know how much I love my family — and that’s all that really matters,” she remarked.

Although Phil’s health led to his retirement from drumming in 2022, he is now reveling in his role as a grandfather. Recently, Lily and her husband, Charlie McDowell, welcomed their first child, daughter Tove, through a surrogate in January 2025. Phil is also a grandparent to granddaughter Zoe, from his legally adopted daughter Joely Collins and her husband, Stefan Buitelaar.

Keep scrolling for a retrospective on Lily and Phil’s relationship through the years.

They Faced Challenges in Their Relationship During Lily’s Childhood

After Phil and Tavelman divorced, Tavelman moved to Los Angeles with Lily while Phil remained in London. In her 2017 memoir, Unfiltered: No Shame, No Regrets, Just Me, Lily candidly shared about the absence of her father in her life.

“Because my dad was often gone, I never wanted to do anything that would make him stay away even longer,” she reflected. “I became extra careful about what I said and how I said it, afraid he’d think I was angry or didn’t love him. And the truth is, I was angry. I missed him and wanted him there.”

Lily Encountered Challenges with Phil’s Fame as a Child

Lily first realized the extent of her father’s fame during a trip to Disneyland as a child, when she saw someone wearing a shirt with Phil’s image on it.

“Then he saw my dad and asked for a photo — and it was a really weird moment,” she recalled to Radio Times in 2020. “I was thinking, ‘Why does he want a picture of my dad, and why is my dad on his T-shirt?’ Slowly but surely, I started to understand.”

Eventually, she adapted, learning to distinguish “Phil Collins” from “Dad.”

“It’s a weird thing to have your dad or your parent be on the stage with a million people saying their name and you’re like, ‘No, that’s just Dad,’” she explained in a 2016 interview with Harry Connick Jr. “But I started to get used to [it:] that person was Phil and then when we were home, that was Dad.”

Lily Was Determined to Forge Her Own Path

Lily didn’t dive into acting seriously until she turned 20, making her debut in the 2009 film The Blind Side. As she secured more roles and her fame grew, she opted against seeking her father’s assistance in her career.

“I always wanted to do it on my own,” she stated in a 2013 interview with Glamour. “I never wanted anyone making phone calls. A name can open doors, but there’s a quote I like: ‘Personality can open doors, but only character can keep them open.’”

She added that even without Phil’s influence, he remains supportive of her endeavors.

“He’s just letting me do my thing as it happens,” she shared. “It’s such a different game now, so he’s just seeing his little girl go out and experience it all, and I think to him that’s the most bizarre, but most amazing thing to see.”

She Has Since Forgiven Her Dad for Their Turbulent Past

Lily included a heartfelt letter of forgiveness to her dad in her 2017 memoir, acknowledging that “many of my deepest insecurities stem from these issues with my dad.”

“We all make choices and, although I don’t excuse some of yours, at the end of the day we can’t rewrite the past,” she wrote. “I’m learning how to accept your actions and vocalize how they made me feel. I accept and honor the sadness and anger I felt toward the things you did or didn’t do, did or didn’t give me.”

Additionally, she mentioned that Phil’s 2008 divorce from third wife, Orianne Cevey, significantly affected her outlook on herself and contributed to her struggles with an eating disorder.

“Not only did I start viewing myself differently physically, but I began limiting my happiness by controlling my eating habits,” she elaborated. “I couldn’t handle the pain and confusion surrounding my dad’s divorce, and I was having a hard time balancing being a teenager with pursuing two different grown-up careers.”

Phil and Lily Collins Maintain a Strong Bond

Lily and Phil appear to have moved past their previous issues. In 2022, Lily supported her dad during his final concert with Genesis, expressing her “endless gratitude” for him and her brother, Nic, who performed with the band, through a post on Instagram.

For Father’s Day 2024, she shared another heartfelt message via Instagram.

“I’m sending more hugs to you than ever and I’m beyond grateful for you today and every day,” she wrote. “My words won’t be able to do it justice but… you know. I love you to the moon and back again.”