I Got Engaged at a Wedding to Another Woman and I’m Totally Unapologetic
Brittany Brink found herself in the bathroom during the bouquet toss at a wedding in Myrtle Beach last October. As a bridesmaid, she just needed a brief escape.
However, another bridesmaid soon came to find her, explaining that the bride—who happened to be Brink’s then-boyfriend’s sister—was eager for her to join the fun on the dance floor.
“I thought, really? I was a bit annoyed. I’m already in a relationship. There’s no need for me to leave the bathroom for the bouquet toss,” Brink, 31, tells TODAY.com.
Despite her reluctance, the bride insisted, so Brink finally made her way to the reception. She took her time, even stopping to grab a drink before ultimately stepping onto the dance floor where the bride was ready with the bouquet.
What happened next caught Brink completely off guard. Instead of tossing the bouquet, the bride, Victoria “Tori” Krause, turned around and handed it directly to her.
At that moment, Brink’s boyfriend of eight years, Rich Ciallella, joined her on the dance floor, dropping to one knee with their 2-year-old son Carter on his lap. He held a ring in his other hand.
As soon as Brink realized what was happening, her emotions took over. Her first reaction was to “start crying hysterically.” The second thought that crossed her mind was, “Why would you do this on your sister’s wedding day? What made you think this was a good idea?” she recalls.
Brink had been anticipating a proposal since they went ring shopping earlier that year. Throughout their week-long trip in South Carolina, she assumed Ciallella would pop the question at any moment, but this unexpected context took her by surprise.
Courtesy Brittany Brink
Proposals at weddings often draw criticism from etiquette experts, who caution against potentially overshadowing the couple’s special day. The debate about wedding proposals has even sparked discussions across various platforms, with many pondering the appropriateness of getting engaged near a loved one’s wedding date.
After saying yes, Brink sought clarity on how this unexpected moment unfolded. “Just talk to her,” Brink remembers her fiancé encouraging her. “She wanted this to be special for you.”
Surprisingly, the proposal had been the bride’s idea all along. For months, Krause and her brother had been brainstorming ways to make it happen. Inspired by a TikTok video she had seen that spring, Krause convinced him to propose at her wedding instead of on Mother’s Day as originally planned.
Once the initial shock faded, Brink had an emotional conversation with Krause. “I told her, ‘This isn’t what I wanted.’ She burst into tears, saying she really wanted me to have this moment, especially with my aunt there because she knew my parents couldn’t be,” Brink reflects.
Brink’s parents passed away just months apart in 2022—her father suddenly from cardiac arrest and her mother after a prolonged battle with cancer. During this difficult time, she also learned she was expecting her son.
Brink views Carter as a blessing from her father. “He kept saying, ‘I can’t wait for Rich to give you a ring. I need another grandson!’” she shares.
Courtesy Brittany Brink
Brink says her son has been a source of strength throughout her grief. “He motivates me every day. He drives me to be the best mother I can be and to give him everything,” she explains.
In addition, Brink found support from her fiancé’s family who rallied around her and her sister during these transformative times.
At the wedding, Ciallella’s mother approached Brink in tears, saying, “You are my daughter. You always have been. I don’t intend to replace your mom, but I want to do everything possible to make this special for you.”
“It was such a sweet gesture. It truly felt like our moment. Tori was just there, dancing and overjoyed to have played a part in making it all happen. It meant the world to me,” she says.
Since the proposal, Brink has faced criticism from strangers online when sharing their photos.
Courtesy Brittany Brink
“I can see why people deem it controversial. When I got engaged, I thought to myself, that’s the bride’s moment. However, in my case, Tori truly organized this and wanted it for me. If the bride is on board, and everyone else is okay with it, I say let them have their moment,” she shares.
As she prepares for her own wedding this October, Brink intends to reflect the community spirit she experienced during her engagement.
“The number of people who’ve supported me through the engagement and the loss of my parents is overwhelming. I want ‘our day’ to be meaningful for everyone and to celebrate the love we’ve embraced over the last few years,” she adds.
Courtesy Brittany Brink
After navigating grief and the challenges of new parenthood, Brink believes their relationship has already faced significant trials—without having even tied the knot yet.
“This is what makes us so certain and excited for our future. We’ve endured a lot, survived through difficult moments, and emerged even stronger,” Brink reflects.
“Our lives are beautifully intertwined now. We’re one big family—we know we can make it work.”
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CORRECTION on 1/29 at 10:29 p.m.: This article originally stated Brink’s age as 32. She is 31. It also mistakenly mentioned that her parents died in 2021; they actually passed away in 2022.
