LGBTQ+ Reality Stars Offer Guidance to Their Younger Selves
This Pride Month, the most courageous thing you can do is embrace your true self.
For reality stars, portraying their authentic selves—complete with the ups, downs, and unexpected turns—may seem effortless. Yet for those within the LGBTQ+ community, navigating life is an expedition filled with invaluable experiences.
In honor of Pride, Us Weekly reached out to members of the community—many who grace our cherished reality shows like The Valley, Below Deck, The Bachelor, and others—to pen heartfelt letters to their younger selves, sharing the insights they wish they had about love, self-assurance, and life as a whole.
What followed were messages filled with encouragement and hope that anyone can draw inspiration from. Continue reading to discover what your favorite celebrities conveyed to all of us:
Colton Underwood from The Bachelor
To my younger self,
The energy you’re spending to hide your true self is the very thing that will eventually bring clarity to your life. I understand that it feels safer to conform to expectations, but the ones who truly matter will support you once you stop pretending. You’ll create a family, engage in meaningful work, and wake up beside someone who loves the real you. Be gentle with yourself during this journey. The fears will fade, revealing a life far beyond your current imagination.
With love, Colton
Reza Farahan from The Valley: Persian Style
To my younger self,
It may be hard to believe, but when you come out, your friends and family will embrace you. You’ll meet the love of your life, and they will celebrate your union with you. It sounds cliché, yet it truly does get better. The challenging times will only make you stronger and wiser.
You’ve got this. The life you’ve always desired is ready for you to embrace it.
Jasmine Goode from The Valley
Dear young Jasmine,
Don’t shy away from loving who you love. Such love is real, valid, and undeniably worthwhile.
The world you’re entering has ample space for you just as you are. Step into it with your chin held high.
Younger me, take pride in who you are—not only because it’s Pride Month but because you have survived every moment trying to convince you that you weren’t enough.
TJ Dinch from Southern Hospitality
To my younger self,
I know you’re anxious about acceptance and wondering where you belong, but one day you will understand that being true to yourself is your greatest asset. The route may not align with your expectations, but it will be even better. You’ll gain the bravery to pursue big dreams, create something special, and inspire others simply by being authentic.
Stop fearing what others think, and start believing in yourself sooner. You will be okay.
Zack Wickham from The Valley
To my younger self, amidst all the questions, uncertainty, and isolation, you will discover your chosen family and your true self. Keep advocating for your rights and the rights of others because while things will improve, the fight for equality is an ongoing journey.
Becca Tilley from The Bachelor
To my younger self,
I recognize your fears about what others think of you, but let me assure you that once you release those fears, your life will become infinitely more beautiful than you ever imagined.
Captain Sandy Yawn from Below Deck Mediterranean
Dear younger Sandy,
I know you feel afraid.
Nights spent awake worrying about truly belonging can weigh heavily. You exert so much energy trying to be who everyone else expects that you might forget the beauty in simply being you.
Your differences are not to be concealed.
You’ve sought joy in various escapes. One day, you will learn that the things you fear now will become your greatest strengths, leading you to recovery and a life beyond your wildest dreams.
Courage isn’t the absence of fear; it’s the ability to move forward in spite of it. You will encounter rejection and judgment, along with people who fail to comprehend your journey, your heart, or your love. Their opinions cannot define your worth.
You are not broken.
You are not excessive.
You are not inferior.
You are precisely who you were meant to be.
Someday, you will captain some of the most magnificent yachts in the world, becoming a pioneer in an industry where few women have succeeded. You’ll shatter barriers, dismantle glass ceilings, and demonstrate that authenticity is indeed a superpower.
Most importantly, you will discover a love that feels like home.
A love that reinforces that you don’t need to change to be worthy of affection.
Life may become overwhelmingly challenging at times. There will be losses, heartbreaks, and trials you could never foresee. Yet, joy beyond your wildest dreams awaits.
Keep moving forward.
Trust yourself.
Trust in your journey.
And never apologize for who you are.
Your story will illuminate the path for others still searching for their bravery.
Eventually, you’ll recognize that the very thing you dreaded—being seen—will liberate you.
Walk courageously.
Love deeply.
Lead with compassion.
And remember, the world doesn’t need another version of anyone else.
It needs you.
With love and appreciation,
Captain Sandy Yawn
Jay Thomas Manuel from Jay & Pamela
Dear younger Jay,
At times, you’ll feel different and question your sense of belonging, but always remember that you are enough as you are. The traits that set you apart now will evolve into your greatest strengths later. Eventually, you’ll discover love, build a beautiful life, and achieve far beyond your imagination.
Trust the journey, remain authentic, and don’t allow others’ opinions to shape your self-worth.
Michols Peña from Southern Hospitality
To my younger self,
It might feel strange knowing you’re different without comprehending why. From making friends to voicing your thoughts at home and handling relationships, always remind yourself that you’ll eventually find your voice, peace, and happiness.
You’ll be 18 before you know it, able to explore all that life has to offer and fully step into your identity. When that time arrives, every struggle will prove worthwhile. Be patient with yourself and hold on to your true self; the person you become will take you places.
Tommy Bracco from Big Brother
Dear Thomas,
I see you laying in bed at night, tears streaming down your face as you struggle to hide who you are. It may feel like the world will end if you acknowledge your sexuality. But I’m here to tell you that it won’t.
In reality, life will be more fulfilling than you anticipate on the other side. Your family and friends will accept you, but the most crucial acceptance will come from yourself. So, dry those tears, be brave, and remember that strength is often born from adversity.
Lake Rucker from Southern Hospitality
To my younger self,
Understanding that you deserve love in all its forms is a monumental achievement. Your queerness isn’t something to overcome; it’s an essential part of your beauty. I recognize you may feel excessively different or indecisive, but one day, you will be celebrated for those very traits.
You will grow increasingly proud of your journey as the dreams you’ve always envisioned begin to unfold. Above all, remember that you are loved and appreciated.
Christie Murphy from Big Brother
To my younger self,
You have a boyfriend?! Come on, let’s be real. You know it feels “off.” Stop trying to force things that don’t fit!
You might date a few more frogs before life teaches you the lesson you need, but when it happens, trust your instincts, don’t overthink, and certainly don’t let others’ judgments drown out your intuition. Follow your gut, trust those butterflies, and forget about seeking approval. What truly matters is your happiness. One day, you’ll marry a wonderful woman, have a beautiful family, and boast a love that others envy. So breathe, ignore the noise, and continue being your fabulous self!
Sammie Cimarelli from The Circle
To my younger self,
The things making you anxious today will eventually become your sources of pride. You don’t need to shrink yourself, change who you are, or seek acceptance from those who fail to recognize your value. Love will come your way, but always remember you are already the love you seek. The affection you’ll receive is simply a bonus.
Soon, you’ll stop feeling the need to be anyone other than yourself, and those meant to be in your life will celebrate you as you are. Keep trusting yourself—immense joy, freedom, and love await you.
Carolyn Wiger from Survivor
Dear younger me,
You are never going to fit into the mold of “normal,” and thank goodness for that. The traits that people label as “too much” will one day be the things you love most about yourself. You’ll make some questionable choices, fall in love freely, struggle to fit in, and somehow get through it all.
One day, you’ll understand that being a weirdo is much more entertaining than pretending to be someone you’re not.
Yamil ‘Yam Yam’ Arocho from Survivor
To my younger self:
I know you think it’s okay to hide away, thinking you aren’t pretty enough or deserving of the happiness that others possess. But one day, simply being your authentic self will be what makes you extraordinary. Your body, your personality, your accent, your humor, your queerness—it’s all part of the beauty that is you.
You will find true love, joy, and a life that surpasses your wildest dreams. Embrace who you are, for we all possess a unique superpower; believing in yourself is key. You’ll OUTWIT, OUTPLAY, and OUTLAST every challenge and fear.
One day, everything you long for will come to fruition when you finally recognize that you are perfect as you are.
Kenny Niedermeier from 90 Day Fiance
Dear Kenny,
Coming out in the 1980s will be tougher than you can foresee. You will lose friends to a devastating epidemic, and at times, the weight of fear and grief will feel insurmountable. Yet, hold on to hope, for the love and support of our community will sustain you, leading to a future filled with acceptance you never thought possible. These experiences will not shatter you; they will cultivate compassion, resilience, and gratitude for the family you establish over time.
You’ll live your life in honor of those you’ve lost, bursting with pride.
Armando Niedermeier-Rubio from 90 Day Fiance
Dear younger me,
Growing up in a small town, you’ll feel frightened to be yourself and worried about judgment. For a long time, you’ll attempt to conceal those unfamiliar feelings in your heart.
You will face experiences that break your heart, but they will also help shape you into the strong, compassionate person you become.
One day, you’ll muster the courage to be your authentic self, uncovering deep levels of self-acceptance and love you never imagined. You’ll also receive your family’s support in unimaginable ways, find your dream partner, and build a beautiful life and family together. You will understand that the aspects of yourself you once tried to hide lead to the happiest life you could envision.
Phillip Solomon from Deal or No Deal Island
Dear Phillip,
You will spend a significant part of your life wishing to be “just like everyone else,” but I assure you, there is hope. One day, you’ll be grateful that you are not like everyone else. Even if love seems unattainable now, you will undertake a path of personal growth and transformation that leads to the most profound love story ever—the one where you love yourself.
Your ultimate desires revolve around happiness and inspiring others, and without revealing too much, you’ll achieve your happy ending. Keep honoring who you were, celebrate who you are, and motivate who you are destined to become.
Frankie Grande from Big Brother
You are perfect just as you are. If you feel as though you’re in a space where your identity is invisible, it’s understandable—it’s a tough time for our community. But remember, this moment won’t last forever. The people currently holding power won’t always remain in control, and our community will prevail. You will see reflections of yourself in your peers and beyond. If it feels impossible now, just turn on the Tonys; it’s bound to be fabulously inclusive.
Will Jardell from The Amazing Race
To little Will,
Your shyness is not a flaw; it’s a survival mechanism. You’re navigating the challenging terrain of self-discovery in a small Texas town. Being visible feels daunting, but trust me: the moment you let yourself be seen, your life will truly begin. I need you to hear this: You are exactly as you should be. When you allow your authentic self to shine, the burdens won’t just vanish—they’ll lift, revealing a life more extraordinary than you could ever imagine. You will marry the love of your life, find genuine happiness, and live a life filled with pride, surrounded by those who cherish you. One day, you’ll take the stage globally, confident and unapologetic, and as you look back, you’ll realize that the kid who wanted to fade away was secretly building a dream life all along. You have to navigate through challenges to grow, and on the other side, you’ll find a version of yourself that is empowered, loved, and unstoppable. Let your inner strength soar, Will.
With love, Will
James Wallington from The Amazing Race
Dear James,
I understand how lonely it feels, carrying burdens you can’t yet articulate. Keep indulging in those reality shows you adore—your future is so much more expansive than your current perspective. The moment you give yourself the permission to be your true self, doors will swing open. You’ll lead a remarkable life beyond your wildest fantasies. Without you even realizing it, you will embody the hope and representation you once sought after as a closeted kid. One day, a man will propose to you at the finish line of the very show you’ve admired, and together, you will celebrate the wedding of your dreams. Things will get better. The world is eagerly awaiting, James. Chase after it.
With love, James
