Sandy Hook Father Robbie Parker Pens ‘A Father’s Fight’
He expresses that he felt the backing of other families in the same situation, referring to them as a unit.
In his autobiography, he names the collective of parents The Families, with a capital “F”, but adds, “For quite some time, I kept the other parents at a distance.”
Though there was an “immediate bond” following the shooting, Parker confesses that he struggled to interact or truly connect with them.
During the trial, he mentions forming a bond with The Families.
“Spending prolonged time with them, enjoying long lunches together, finally being able to laugh with them, share amusing and heartbreaking stories, and feel a genuine sense of safety—that was one of the greatest gifts bestowed upon me throughout that entire ordeal,” he shares.
He explains that he began writing as a way of “resisting grief,” now comparing his journey to a roller coaster ride.
“There are so many ups and downs, along with twists and turns, yet I felt as if I always ended up right where I had begun, much like a roller coaster experience,” he remarks.
He has gained a new perspective on the term “peace.”
“Currently, peace for me isn’t about feeling alright all the time,” he explains. “Rather, it’s about being in a state where I can face challenges and difficult moments while still appreciating the beauty around me and managing to hold both in the same space … that’s a truly peaceful state of being.”
December 14
For Parker, every December 14 holds a different meaning.
Shortly after Emilie’s passing, he says the family would often ask, “What would Emilie enjoy?” For instance, on her first birthday after the tragedy, they ventured to Harry Potter World at Universal Orlando, as they had been reading the “Harry Potter” series together.
“That was easy,” Parker reflects. “It’s more challenging now because I can’t discern what she would love, what interests she would have, or what struggles she might endure.”
The family remains close-knit, he shares. Emilie’s younger sisters, Madeline and Samantha, possess “wonderful artistic talents,” allowing them to engage in various projects and crafts together.
This year, he says, “I’m just going to head to the beach and take a walk.” “I want to keep things quite simple.”
Reflecting on the process of publishing his memoir, Parker mentions that it has been “wonderful to share so many stories about her.”
He fondly recalls a story about Emilie: After a significant snowstorm, he went outside to shovel the driveway. It took hours, causing him to miss dinner and the essential bedtime routine with his children.
When he returned inside, he found a plate of food and his favorite drink ready for him, courtesy of Emilie.
“I later learned that she was in her bed and thought, ‘Oh, Dad hasn’t had dinner.’ While everyone else was asleep, she got up and prepared a plate for me,” he remembers. “The next morning, she never mentioned it.”
“The reason I become emotional discussing this is that Emilie had a unique gift — she felt emotions deeply and powerfully but also knew how to express and share those feelings with others. That’s something I’ve always struggled with,” he adds.
“What I miss the most about her is being around someone who could show me how to navigate those emotions.”
