Rediscovering My Eye: How Makeup Helped Me Embrace Life After Vision Loss

While losing an eyeball might not seem to have many positives, it does provide a fascinating canvas for creativity. I lost vision in November 2022 when inflammation disrupted blood flow to my optic nerve. My eye baffled numerous hospitals, withstanding two high-dose corticosteroid treatments, enduring 10 days of radiation, and over a year of immunotherapy. The mass’s growth pushed my eye out about 26mm, resulting in varying intensity of symptoms. The eyelid drooped permanently, resembling a wink, with surrounding skin red and swollen due to improper drainage.

Before my health challenges, I wouldn’t leave home without makeup. In college, I would apply Ardell Wispies for 8 a.m. classes and exhaust my Anastasia Beverly Hills contour palette (as many did in 2018). Makeup was my form of expression and creativity. However, as my condition became more visible, my relationship with beauty started to dwindle. I watched tutorials enviously, longing for skin untouched by scars. Imagining how new makeup trends would look on me became difficult, and some days, even glancing in the mirror was an ordeal.

In August 2023, I reached a turning point. I decided I wouldn’t continue to hide from my eye; instead, I would embrace it. Armed with a prayer and plenty of eyelash glue, I carefully adhered clusters of silver rhinestones to my face, forming two glowing teardrops beneath my blind eye. I shared a video of the process, captivating over 500,000 viewers and receiving an outpouring of kind feedback.

Encouraged by the online community’s supportive response, I began to embrace my distinct features — including all that extra lid space. I experimented with everything from rhinestones to googly eyes (I successfully fitted 18 of them onto my blind eye, in case you’re curious). Over time, I matched my makeup to my eye patches, drawing hearts on my cheeks for a Valentine’s-themed patch and using blue glitter for a porcelain-inspired look.

When I finally had my eye removed in May 2024, the celebration continued. I discovered that prosthetics don’t need to be frightening or off-putting; they can be stunning and extraordinary — much like wearable art. I initiated a series where I coordinated my makeup with my “fun eyes” (creative prosthetic eyes designed to be whimsical rather than realistic). For my “Coraline” button eye, I transformed myself into a doll. For my blue and pink “galaxy” eye, I applied temporary butterfly tattoos to craft sparkly wings on either side of my face.

The public’s view of my “fun eyeball” varies wildly, ranging from radical acceptance to casual meanness. I strive to ignore the unsolicited medical advice and unfunny comments on social media, though it’s a challenge. Before the eye removal, I would rise early to apply glittery eyeshadow and thick concealer, convincing myself that nobody can be unkind if my makeup is playful enough. I was mistaken!

“[It’s] probably a bacteria infection from those horrid eyelashes,” one person commented on a PS video addressing my mystery illness, seemingly ignoring that I only wore lashes on my “good” eye. “Dig it out with a spoon, it’s literally unbearable to look at,” another cruel remark appeared on my TikTok page.

Although the comments have lessened after my eye removal, they remain etched in my memory. Thankfully, as I continue to explore makeup, I care less about others’ opinions. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made and continually discover beauty in this new version of myself — something I feared would be impossible. I hope this marks a happy resolution to a tumultuous journey. Yet, if more change arises, I find comfort in knowing I’ve the tools necessary to navigate it.

Chandler Plante (she/her) serves as an assistant health and fitness editor for PS. With over four years of professional journalism expertise, she previously contributed as an editorial assistant for People magazine and has worked with Ladygunn, Millie, and Bustle Digital Group.