What Maria Shriver Said to Herself While on the Bathroom Floor During Her Divorce from Arnold Schwarzenegger
Maria Shriver vividly remembers the empowering mantra she repeated to herself that helped her persevere after discovering her husband, Arnold Schwarzenegger, had betrayed her by fathering a child with someone else during their 25-year marriage.
In her new poetry book, “I Am Maria,” the TODAY contributor reflects on the pain of navigating a public divorce from the actor and former governor of California.
In the introduction of her book, 69-year-old Shriver describes the moment she found out that Schwarzenegger had engaged in a sexual relationship with their housekeeper, which resulted in the birth of their son, Joseph Baena, now 27.
“As I sat on the hotel room floor in the dark, feeling terrified and isolated with tears streaming down my face, I told myself: Maria, this doesn’t have to mark the end of who you are. It can’t be the conclusion of you. Make it a new beginning for yourself,” she penned.
During a conversation with her close friend Oprah Winfrey on the March 25 episode of the “Oprah” podcast, Shriver shared, “It’s still an emotional topic for me, but I was determined to lift myself up. I wanted to be more transparent. I desired to step away from the protected life I was leading.”
“I wanted to understand how this had happened to me. I wanted to figure out who I could become moving forward,” she elaborated. “I aimed to demonstrate to my daughters and my sons that I could stand tall, that I could heal.”
Shriver expressed to Winfrey that at that moment, she had no real understanding of how to heal but was intent on doing so, both for her children and herself.
“I had just begun my therapy journey towards the end of my marriage, so I wasn’t previously someone acquainted with therapy,” she explained. “I was not on the path of healing. And I decided to fully commit to it.”
Reflecting on her experience, Shriver, who had set aside her broadcast journalism career while Schwarzenegger was in office, noted that until their difficult separation, she had been “juggling all the roles” of her life.
“I was fulfilling the roles of a daughter, journalist, and mother,” she shared, adding, “It’s a lot to handle. Anyone I speak to who’s trying to raise children, care for parents, manage their own careers, and be a good spouse realizes that they don’t have the bandwidth to contemplate many other aspects of life.”
Winfrey reminisced about the day in 2011, when the news of Schwarzenegger’s affair broke, and Shriver, who had been aware of the betrayal for some time, was set to appear at a live taping of the final episode of “The Oprah Winfrey Show.”
“I’ve never witnessed a friend like you,” Winfrey remarked. “Because on the night you knew that news was about to be made public, you still came and supported me, and I don’t understand how you did that. You weren’t in your right mind.”
Shriver replied, “I wanted to support you because you’ve always been there for me,” highlighting the importance of “showing up” for those she cares about.
Shriver and Schwarzenegger married in 1986 after several years of dating, with Shriver filing for divorce in 2011 and completing the process in 2021.
The former couple shares four children: Katherine Schwarzenegger Pratt, 35, Christina Schwarzenegger, 33, Patrick Schwarzenegger, 31, and Christopher Schwarzenegger, 27.
In a May 2023 discussion with The Hollywood Reporter, Schwarzenegger termed his divorce from Shriver “my failure.”
The action star mentioned it was coincidental that he portrayed a divorced CIA operative who was unfaithful in his recent Netflix series “Fubar.”
“But in (my actual marriage to Shriver), it was my f—up. It was my failure,” Schwarzenegger acknowledged. “In the series, however, deep inside, he still loves his wife.”
Despite dating physical therapist Heather Milligan for over ten years, Schwarzenegger shared that he still harbors love for Shriver. “We remain very close friends and are quite proud of how we raised our children,” he stated.
